I am having a pretty good day today. I got a pedicure with a friend and then I turned an old pair of heels I had into a fuscha glitter pair of heels. Almost done with them.

I am at McDonald's with Louie so he can play. My aunt got Carmen and is keeping her until tuesday. :)

I love getting to spend alone time with my kids. One on one is so fun. Louis slept in our room last night and it made me so happy to have him there.

Is it just me or does everyone have times where they love their husbands/boyfriends more than others? I have been struggling lately with Sean but we talked the other night and I am feeling better with him. I think its more me than him though. 

Im sorry I have to go play with Louie. He just asked.



Oh and I got a new pair of jeans yesterday. . . They were a SIZE 16!!!!!!!!!
I used to be a 22

62 POUNDS

I am so excited right now. I just crossed the 60 # mark. I have now lost 62 #. It is nice to see the work I am doing. 

I didn't think it would happen

Things that make me happy

Last night we let the kids sleep on the floor in our room. I love it. I wish we could have a giant king size bed and all of us sleep together. But its probably not good for sexy time and all. I love doing things with my kids and spending time together. 

Yesterday I looked up state adoption for our state. I saw a picture of a beautiful girl around 9 I think. They don't give that much information on the kids online. In our state each parent has to have 30 hours of training. And for kids with abusive pasts you have to have more. I would have to have 50 hours of training to adopt the girl I saw but she looked like she was smiling right at me. Now is not the time for us to adopt but I wan't to have an idea of what would happen if we were able to one day. 

I told my family about it and they were all appalled. My mom told me about her great aunt that adopted a boy and he was wild and uncontrollable. SHe told me I had to protect what I already had. I know stuff like that could happen and I would not make a decision lightly. 

I love kids so much

And I feel for the ones with no family

I wish I could protect all kids like that

I know I am not a perfect mom but I am a really good one. Especially considering my childhood. 

I love so hard

Short but funny

Today I caught my dog doing horrible things to a stuffed monkey.

I kept hearing a strange noise so I peeked at him and he froze, right in the middle of humping the poor monkeys head. I rescued the monkey and gave him a bath.

I have never seen my dog hump anything but other dogs so it was a surprise.

Made me laugh

Today

Today I took the kids and my niece to story time at the library. Carmen and Louis loved it. My niece did not dance and sing like everyone else but she had a blast too. I brought home 20 books to read to them. We read several already. I want to make this a weekly thing. To get us out of the house. Because I cancelled our pass to  The happiest place on earth. I can't go as much anymore. :(

Also today I binged. Bad. And I feel very guilty about it. Not because of how much I ate but because of what I ate. Doughnuts and cookies. I have a headache now and I know its because of the massive amount of sugar I consumed. I am not used to eating sugar anymore. I still have a half gallon of ice cream and 3 doughnuts. Oh well.  Next time I will bake again instead of buying tons of crap.

I am going to try to sleep like a baby tonight.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day. I am going to read to the kids and straighten things up. And maybe bake bread.

I don't know what to say

I am having a hard time blogging because so much is going on right now

There is too much running through my head

Right after my sister had a baby in the bathtub my mom casually mentioned that my dad was going to be having surgery in a few days and he might be having a stint put in

It turns out that he had a heart attack sometime in the last year or so and has major damage to his heart

3 of the 4 arterys to his heart were completely blocked and the heart where those arterys attach is dead. His heart is working at under 50%. If he has any kind of heart attack he will die. 

It was pretty shocking

He was the most shocked of all. He was telling me he felt angry. He is staring his death in the face.

I still am processing everything

Excitement!

My sister had her baby last night.

We had been trying to get her to go into labor for a week

So she took castor oil last night and it did the trick

But here is where it gets crazy/amazing

She had been having mild contractions for a week

Then she took the oil yesterday and they picked up a little

At 8:30 I asked if she wanted me to come over and she said no they were alone and doing good but check back later.

I checked back later and they were picking up but she wasn't ready for me yet

I got a text from BIL at about 9:30 that said "she just told me to stop talking to her. hahahaha" 

and then "she just puked a lot"

I almost went over there but I wanted to respect her birth experience

Well I got a call at 10:20 from my other sister that the baby had been born

The pregnant sister wanted to labor at home as long as possible, but she did it a little too long

Her water broke at 10 and my BIL said "come on we need to go to the hospital get dressed" There was no way that was going to happen so he handed her his robe "here put this on" That was not going to happen either so she decided that she was going to go in just her bra and pantys and shoes. She got to the front porch and knew it wasn't going to happen at all. She ran to the closest bathroom and sat on the toiled. She had a contraction that caused her to bear down and he was starting to crown so she jumped in the bathtub. My bil came in and said "we have to go" and she said "Hes coming" bil said " no hes not, SHIT he is" so he dialed 911 and with the other hand caught the little guy. Still holding the phone in one hand and baby in the other he asked the operator "what do I do now" the operator was stuttering. I guess it doesn't happen as often in real life as it does in the movies. Anyway, the ambulance and fire truck came and took them to the hospital (which is only a mile away). As soon as I found out I threw on some clothes and told my mom and ran out the door. I got to the hospital really fast but parked on the wrong side I had to run to the other side of the hospital to the emergency door. I saw the ambulance and firetruck still there. A really hot EMT was standing against the wall and he tried to stop me. I said my sister was just brought in, she had a baby in a bath tub. He said follow me. So I did. (wouldn't you?) They took me right to her. She was shaking and bloody but doing great. She had been so scared that she was going to blow out her vagina but she had such a tiny tear the dr didn't stitch it up. She did amazing

And the little boy is perfect. 

I did not ask her if I can post his name so I won't

But he is so tiny and sweet

7.9 pounds

his head was 14 inches (1/2 an inch smaller than my niece)

His vitals were great and he nursed like a pro.

I really wanted to be there but I am so happy for my sister that I don't care. The hard part of her labor was only 1.5 hours. Last time she pushed for 3 hours and this time only 3 pushes

I am going to go over there as soon as I can

I want to hold the little guy

I am going to have a good day :)

7 years

Our anniversary is tomorrow. This is going to be the worst anniversary ever. We arranged for the kids to stay with mil but she isn't feeling well so my mom said she would take them but shes bringing them back tomorrow. And Sean has to work today. So we are going to have most of 1 day to celebrate. I do get today to myself. Thats probably going to be the nicest thing about this anniversary.

But its ok because last year was the best anniversary ever.

Oh and all of this is contingent upon if my sister goes into labor. Which could happen at any moment. She had rhythmic contractions for 5 hours yesterday before they fizzled out. 

Last year was pretty much the only time I feel we've had to really celebrate our anniversary. We have never had money to do anything before. But I hope its not another 6 years before we do something.

I am not going to throw myself a pitty party. I am going to enjoy the heck out of today and tomorrow. And spending time alone with my hubby. 

Have a wonderful weekend :)

Amber