Oh that's why

I found out on tuesday that my dad's heart has shown no improvement even though more of it is moving than before his procedures.

Yesterday and today have been super shitty days

I was a little scared by the thoughts I was having today when I realized why I was having them

I will try to ride this out

But I am not sure how.

The only thing I can think to do is eat cake, but sadly I do not have any

I am trying to see if Jim Beam will do the trick but probably not

I may have to go on a midnight cake run

I am so tired

I wish I could pull a sleeping beauty and sleep for 100 years

It's been so long since i've felt ok that I am losing hope I will ever feel ok

Pic

I am posting this pic today because another blogger who had twins posted a blog today about how giant her belly was. And it was GIANT. Because she said singleton bellies are not as big as twin bellies. I would agree with this except for this:

That is 1 9lb 2oz baby in there.

That is pretty damn big!

Poop

Today for the first time Louis went poo poo in the potty

I cannot tell you now excited I am. This is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

I am that much closer to only cleaning up my poo.

I have cleaned up so much poop in the last 3 almost 4 years.

A lot of it has been documented here but not all of it.

We have been potty training hardcore for a while now. He is a pro at peeing on the potty but until today he had not been able to poo on the potty. I knew I would just have to wait him out so today when he asked me for a diaper I knew the time was here. So I said no and asked if he wanted to go to the potty. It took over an hour and then he disappeared from my room. Carmen yelled from the kitchen that Louie had pooped. It was such a tiny poo I knew he still had to go. So I picked him up and put him on the potty really fast. Before I could clean up his turd Carmen had to step in it. That sucked. But I had to leave Louis alone to clean the floor and Carmen. I left him alone for a few minutes and He started yelling "I go poo poo" over and over so I went in and by golly he had. I am so excited about it.

I know we still have a little work left but we are over the hump.

And one day much closer in the future than before I will only have to wipe my own butt