Aparently......

I'm Pregnant....again



I am in complete shock. But I am so happy! I feel so different this time. I cant wait. But we are going to hold off telling people for as long as possible. WOW.

Carmencita

Earlier today I changed Babys clothes or something and there was a hanger hanging off the edge and she grabbed it. Shes so grabby, she always has to grab something when I am changing her. The wipes or a sock that hadn't been put away yet. Anyway I brought her into my room because it was my turn to change and she brought her hanger with her and I don't remember what went on after that but just now I got into bed (hours later) and something hard was poking me. It was her hanger. A darn plastic hanger brought a tear to my eye. I love her so much. I wish she could sleep with us forever. I really miss that she doesn't anymore. I always check on her before I go to  bed and she is in her crib sleeping so sweetly. She kicked all her covers off and I tried to put them back on her but shes on top of them so she stirred a little when I pulled on them. I put my finger in her little hand and she was warm so she will be fine but I would be so happy if she were in bed with me right now. Her little nose is so cute. It's like mine, it swoops up. In a cute buttoney kind of way. I can't wait to have another one. I don't care if it is a CS. I will do anything to have another one. My sister was afraid she was preggo again but shes not. I would not care if I was. I do plan to wait a couple of years because I want to enjoy Baby but if we had an "accident" I would be so happy.

MIL

Apparently we are not doing anything right. Last month it was don't give Baby food it will make your milk dry up. And today it was Baby should be eating 3 meals a day not 1. And don't give her the pumpkin seeds she will choke. HFH. I am so irritated and I can't talk to hubby about it. We got into a fight on the way home about it. He says that it makes him resent her more to hear me complain. But that's not fair because I resent her and I have no reason to not resent her. Shes not my mother. When Hubby complains about my mom I say your right She is  a bitch and OCD. But he gets mad. 

Most of the time he was in the other room or outside with FIL but I had to sit with MIL because she wanted to see Baby. GRRR. I Cant Take It. STFU. 

Also MIL was saying how she saw a lady with her grandbaby and she couldn't wait till that was her. That's not going to happen. She is such a dumb bitch. Gees I really hope no one finds this blog. 

(Edited to add) I just remembered something MIL said. She said "you are the center of Baby's universe, I bet you love it". And my thoughts were of course I do but she is the center of mine and I said "well she is the center of mine" but the way MIL said it I know she wishes she were the center of Baby's universe. Not that she would want to take that away from me but I know she wishes she were. When we found out we were having a baby MIL said she wanted us to have a girl so that there was a little girl who loved her. Why is MIL so insecure? She is always saying to Baby " you are so loved" which I find very weird. Or " your mom (or dad) loves you" to baby. Again that is SO weird. Maybe if she showed a little respect for her own children they could respect her and they would be kind to her. I got irritated with FIL today too because Hubby was telling him that MIL is so difficult because everything we do is wrong and FIL said "well she will let you make the decision but she will tell you her opinion" MIL doesn't just tell you her opinion  she tells you "facts" and if you don't believe her and do what she said then you are being disrespectful and in some cases you are killing Baby. Anyway I kind of feel bad for MIL that she is so insecure because you know how bad she must feel about herself. And it helps me to understand with Hubby because he feels the same way. They, for different reasons, don't accomplish very much so they never feel good about themselves. MIL because she is so slow, I am not even kidding about that she takes forever to do anything and is late everywhere. And Hubby because he cant focus. I think he has ADD. anyway they need to be careful because I will not let them effect Baby with their issues. And that goes for myself. My weight issues are MY weight issues. Baby will be allowed to play with Barbies unless it effects HER. not me. I love that little girl so much. No one is going to hurt her in any way. Including me. 

*think good things, think good things*

I am going to put baby to bed and eat some comfort food. 

Later

Long Time Gone

I haven't been posting because I have been feeling better and I have been so busy. My sister came for a visit with her boyfriend so my parents came and they stayed with us. It's nice having them come around. And this visit with my sister was great because she was on her best behavior. Also she is selling her car to us. YAY. I don't have to drive the Vato (I'm sure that's not how you spell it) Mobile anymore. WAHHOOOO. Its an older car. A 93 honda accord but its in great condition. And it was only 1000$ so we got a great deal. 

Hubby and I are doing much better. He is trying again. He gets depressed but he wont tell me about it and so I don't understand why hes behaving a certain way so I take it personal. But hes been trying to talk to me more. And its helping. We have been getting along much better.

I have been trying hard to focus on the good things about MIL so I am feeling better about her too. She is still driving me nuts but I am dealing with it. And I think the space is helping. Also I decided I am going to blog about all the stupid things she says so that when she contradicts herself I can remember it and try to laugh. I think I will be able to laugh about it if I keep trying. The latest thing she contradicted herself on was about Babys eating. She said that Baby shouldn't be eating because my milk was going to dry up but yesterday on the phone with Hubby she asked what Baby was eating and said that's good she should be eating that regular. It still feels like WTF but it has a glimmer of humor in it. I am beginning to see that she is batshit crazy.

Something slightly related I always said that the people who are most opinionated are really stupid (well if you think about it its true because a smart person realizes that just because something worked for them doesn't mean it works for everyone) but I realized that probably for the most part it's really that they just make themselves look really stupid because they wont shut up. 

I am really happy that I am losing weight, well I haven't really done anything about it because I was sick for about 4 weeks but I didn't gain any back. I have lost 7 inches all over. 2 in my waist 2 in my chest (the bra strap area not the boobs) .5 in my neck (weird huh) .5 in my arms 1 on my hips and 1 in my thighs. The one thing I am really trying to do is cut down on sugar big time. I think that's part of why I haven't gained anything back. That and I think the exercise helped my metabolism 

Well we are going to go over to the IL's house later so I will probably have a post tomorrow or tonight.

Ciao for now