Getting back in the habit of blogging again

I was so upset the other day about my back but Sean made me feel better. He has been trying really hard lately. My back has a very good prognosis. I will be able to be reasonably pain free. So that is pretty much that.

I went back to the chiropractor today. He adjusted both sides and the way it feels when he does it is indescribable. It hurts really bad and not at all at the same time. But I feel so much better today. Even before I went to the Dr.  Hopefully I will be better than normal in a few days. I hate having to spend the money but you know being able to walk and move is kind of worth it.

I am pretty much in the same place I was when I left off blogging. Life seems like one thing after another right now. I no longer have PTSD and I am very happy about that. Nothing seems to help my depression. Which is depressing. 

We are having some hella thunder right now. Its so cool. I can't wait till the weather is good and I can plant stuff.

Maybe tomorrow I will be feeling a little less sorry for myself.

Found out something crazy today

On Wednesday this week I hurt my back pretty bad. Yesterday it was alittle better but this morning it was bad. So I went to a new Chiropractor today. He took xrays of me. They showed my spine has a curve in it and that I had fractured my back in the past. He was like "are you sure you never injured it?" and that's when I remembered that when i was about 13 I got bucked off a horse and landed on my tail bone. I remember that it was super painful, and that no one took me to the Dr. 

At first I was like I knew that it was bad. My back was never the same after that. But now I feel so sad about it. My back was injured and I knew it and no one listened to me. I feel neglected. And unloved. And it makes me even more anxious that I might not take the kids to the Dr when they need it.

I have been trying to get back to blogging. I have opened up blogger many times and not been able to write things. My plan is to write fun stuff here and the sad stuff in my journal. Except this. Hopefully.