Recipe

I was done for the night but I used a recipe a friend gave me and I had to post it. Right now.

It is so satisfying.

It is like an almond butter cup but its healthy 

Yogurt (I used fat free greek)

Almond butter (2 tbl spoons)

Sweetener (I use stevia)

I stired it together and added some crumbled dark chocolate that I have been experimenting with. 

You have to try it

Family

Yesterday was fun

We played and chilled together and watched Tangle

I love spending time as a family

Last night while the kids were taking a bath I tried to dirty chat with sean

He kept making jokes while I was trying to be sexy

then he sent me a picture to show me what gets him horny

(sorry its so small I borrowed it from academy)

That was the end of dirty chat

Me-ness

I am having a rough day. 

I am having gastrointestinal issues

I am being terrorized by a giant bug

and I am so tired 

I wish I could call it a day

But its ok because the kids and I are going to sit on the couch in a bit and watch a movie

and they make me laugh

Carmen keeps pinching my nipples

She is obsessed with nipples

Her nipples

daddys nipples

my nipples 

Louies nipples

It always cracks me up

little weirdo

And Louis was petting me earlier

and putting his finger in my nose and mouth

he was patting my face with his baby man hand

He has tiny big hands

if you have/had a boy you probably know what I mean

I am tired of this cloud blocking out my joy

the fog I walk around in every day sucks

But my little family still manages to bring me joy and laughter

Sean makes me laugh

Out running errands the other day, as we drove through the park Sean excitedly said "that squirrel was huge, it was almost as big around as your boob" 

After I stopped laughing I said "how often do you measure things against my boobs?"

He said "outloud or in my head"

"both" I said

"that was the first time I've ever said it outloud but I say it in my head all the time" He says

How could I not love this guy? 

Grouchyness

I feel like shit today. For no particular reason. It sucks

But I did find out that I am going to be childless for 3 days and I am a little excited about that.

I will miss them terribly but it will be so nice to sleep in. And go to bed when I feel like it.

And maybe go on a date or to the movies. 

I wish my sister wasn't leaving the country

I am having a lot of anxiety

Ohh I think I am pmsing

Man I was hoping the bad pms was over.

I guess we will find out soon.

I am feeling major fatigue

Even though we took care of the problem, every month I fear that Sean's vasectomy fixed itself and I am pregnant. I asked if he had anxiety about it and he said no that if it did it would be a true gift from god. That reply made me happy but it still scares me. I am not sure I would survive another pregnancy. And I feel like I am finally gaining stability and adjusting to having 2 kids and I am not sure if I could handle another. Not that I don't want one. I do. But I realize that it would not be a good thing for me. 

Sorry to share this verbal diarrhea 

Wednesday Weigh in

I haven't noticed if Mrs Scale Junkie has been doing her HYC so I just thought I would do something on my own.

In stead of staying on phase 1 for 2 weeks we are going to begin phase 2 this week because even though we both need to lose 50 lbs the main goal is to be healthy and set a good example for our kids.  However I've decided that during the day when Sean is at work I am going to stay on phase 1. 

I am still doing fantastic. 6.5 pounds down. I accidentally cheated. I thought spaghetti squash was a vegatable but its considered a starch. OOPS. But I wont do it again and its better than eating a cake or something.

I've been doing fantastic on exercise.

Today I plan to go on a long walk and do interval training

I am in this for the long haul and if my kids grow up as healthy people I will consider it a success no matter what else happens

Today

Last weekend sucked because I couldn't sleep at all with out my big teddy bear.

Other than that it was kind of fun

I just hung out with the kids and took them on walks

But TODAY

Today was a blast

We went with my sister and my niece to a children's museum

and there was A LOT of screaming and hysterical laughing

This is the tiny tot area 

When I pulled him out to go outside and play with some stuff out there he would not stop crying until I brought him back here

This is an interactive projection of butterflies

When you stand in it they will land on you

There was a space section and Carmen had a blast 

I think she wants to be an astronaut when she grows up

The blur is my niece

she was a blur the whole time

Just like her dad

I got more pics but they are on the real camera

It was fun to watch them having so much fun

but it really wore them out

all three were crying when we left

Friday night

I am writing this on friday night but I am not going to post it until monday. Because I am paranoid like that.

I am sitting alone in my bed

I took a shower alone

And tonight I get to sleep alone

Not that I don't miss Sean or that I want to do this more often 

But its nice every now and then to have a night alone

I put or old mattress that was sitting in the office in the kids room on the floor and hung out with them for extra time tonight. And it was fun. We were playing and reading books and watching Diego. And now its me time.

LOVE

I get to pick what I want to watch. But of course nothing is on. 

 But I don't care.

I made beans so I pretty much only have to cook breakfast for the weekend.

Tomorrow for breakfast we are going to have scrambled eggs with beans and cheese.

I am going to have a great weekend even if Seans not here

South Beach Rules

I am doing fantastic on my diet. I exercised 4 out of 5 days and I am down 6 lbs.

6lbs in 5 days!

I am thrilled with that

I am not thrilled with Sean

I asked him to pick up some m&ms to help Carmen with her potty training. He came home with a KING size bag of peanut m&ms. My favorite. I am having the hardest time not eating all of them but so far I have not had 1. 

Heath check in

Now that my depression is getting under control I need to focus on my physical health.

As my Dr told me yesterday my weight is "terrible" 

But the most important thing for me is I want to be a good example for Carmen and Louis.

I want them to eat good and exercise regularly 

I want them to be healthy

So Sean and I decided to do the south beach diet

I am reading the book today and I am starting

Well I started last night

We had a salad with no oil and steamed green beans and a lean pork loin (i am not sure what cut it was but it was lean) cooked  with a tiny bit of  EVOO

Today I had turkey bacon and a egg for breakfast

and for my snack I had cucumber slices with hummus

I am not sure what I am having for lunch or dinner

But I am going to make a shopping list and get all the stuff we need to be successful at this

I think we are both ready

But it is going to be hard to exercise every day

I know I can go 2 weeks with no bread but it wont be easy

I am THRILLED that I can still have my coffee everyday and my almond milk frappuccinos 

And I plan to have unsweetend chocolate every day

Heres a big one

My starting weight is . . .

242

That is after my breakfast and snack and coffee

But there it is

I gained 30 pounds last year

But I survived so I still consider it a success

This year is going to be my bitch

Meme Time

I havent felt like writing much lately so I stole this meme from a blogger I like Chibi and she stole it from This blogger












A. Age: I just turned 29 last month

B. Bed size: Queen

C. Chore you dislike: I HATE cleaning the toilet. I hate it soooo much I have offered to do horrible things if Sean will do it for me.

D. Dogs: I have a dog named Roy who was my best friend and baby until I got married and now he is the red-headed-step-child. Poor thing

E. Essential start to your day: Coffee and my computer

F. Favorite color: It depends on my mood but mostly red

G. Gold or silver: White gold or silver.  Me no likey yellow gold. (ditto)

H. Height: 5'5

I. Instruments you play(ed): I took piano and guitar lessons



J. Job title: Administrative assistant

K. Kids: 2 wonderful babies.

L. Live: In a smallish town. Big enough we have most of the stores I like but not so big that traffic is ever really bad

M. Mom’s name: Rebecca. I love her name so much I was going to name Louis that if he had been a girl

N. Nicknames: Every one calls me Amber pretty much.

O. Overnight hospital stays: 4


P. Pet peeves: Hipocrites

Q. Quote from a movie: I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.

R. Righty or Lefty: Right

S. Siblings: 2 sisters

T. Time you wake up: I've been trying to get up at 7

U. Underwear: Always

V. Vegetables you don’t like: Carrots, Celery I like most of them but there are a few that make me gag

W. What makes you run late: Sean

X. X-rays you’ve had:Feet

Y. Yummy food you make: I make good mexican and american. And I am working on making good healthy food

Z. Zoo Animal Favourites: Elephants, Any primate, and of course babies. Well really I love everything but the birds and reptiles

Sexy time

Sean has been so sweet and helpful the last 2 weeks its like hes a different person. So today for fun I thought I'd send him a sexy pic of myself with pouty lips and stuff.

Here is my first try

Ok but no Im-coming-home-now sexy

 This is even less sexy

 This is a total fail

I look hilarious 

I look kind of sweet here but not sexy

And here I look angry

So I sent him this picture