Other things

Until I actually start losing weight I am not going to weigh in. 

Other things

Today we are going to meet Carmens kindergarten teacher. I am having a hard time with this. It's the beginning of the end of me being a stay at home mom. I am so sad about this. I would not hold her back but it would be so nice to freeze time a little. To have her being a baby for a little while longer.

She was a year here

I didn't get to revel in her being a baby because I was pregnant right away and then the postpartum depression kicked my ass so hard. 

She is only a couple days here

I'm not sure my heart can handle her growing up.

I will be taking xanax and packing kleenex.

I love her so much

Friday Check In Week 4

I've been trying to write this blog all week.

I did a bit better in week 4

My official weigh in was 217.8
So thats 3 pounds

That makes a loss of 16 pounds since the surgery.

But I still have to say over all I'm disappointed.

I thought I was going to lose 40 the first month. I think my body is in starvation mode because of the shock of going from far too many calories to 800 to 1200 a day. I am working out and I am going to do my best not to fall into bad habits. But its very hard not to eat crap when I'm not losing weight anyway.

I will weigh in again tomorrow. But I'm not looking forward to it.

This week was nice. I had Louie to myself. We have hung out and gone shopping and snuggled all week. Last night I even slept with him. That turned out to be a big mistake though. He would not leave me alone. Then when I finally fell asleep he started waking up crying and got into the twin bed I was in. I thought he was crying because his legs were falling asleep but turns out he was having growing pains. I did not figure that out until 3 something though so I am EXHAUSTED. I will hopefully go to sleep early today. 

Tomorrow Carmen comes home and we begin preparing for her to start school. I will have to figure out lunches and breakfasts and all that jazz. I am intimidated. I only went to kindergarten in public school. And I have stayed home for 7 years now. I am going to have to get up and feed her and dress her and fix her hair. I am not good at any of those things much less bright and early every morning.

Also I applied at a daycare near by. I would be able to take Louis with me so that is cool. But it would be a minimum wage job. However I think its worth it because I wont have to pay daycare for him and it would be flexible. I also have a friend that upholsters furniture and I am thinking of asking her if she would let me help her. That is work I could do from home too. I have done a little of it before and I really liked it. I want to bring home a little money. 

I also want to get some sleep.

So goodnight

Friday Check In

I really don't want to check in today.  Dispite doing my best and eating 80% right and exercising almost every day my weight this morning was 220. It was 218 earlier this week but somehow it went up.  I've been so good. I have not gone over the 1 cup of food limit once. I am completely off wheat and sugar. My calories have not gone over 1000 yet. And I'm not counting the calories burned by all the exercise. Which yesterday I burned over 600. 

But I'm not changing my ticker. 

My weight has been 220 Monday the 21st. 

So anyway my official weigh in for this week is
220
which is a loss of
0