oh well

Today has been an odd day. It started off well. Hubby and I doing some volunteer work for an hour then we were told that we could continue what we were doing but that it might be better if we stopped (because of the swine flu). So then we went to Tar.get and picked up some disinfectant wipes and other stuff. I got Baby some sunglasses with a band that goes all the way around her head so she can't pull them off, I hope they work. And on our way out of the store this media person was there and she was trying to take a pic of the empty hand sanitizer shelf. The Lady with her was telling her they don't allow that and not to take the pic which Media lady did anyway and Tar. get lady told her you can't publish those blah blah blah. Well I knew Hubby was going to be upset about that but I went on about my business and out of the corner of my eye I see him pull out his I. phone I knew he was going to do that. Sure enough he comes around the corner to me and all smiley says guess what I just did. I said I know what you did and I don't think its funny. So we got into a HUGE argument that I said MANY times we should discontinue because neither of us were going to change our mind and we were just going to get more and more frustrated. He doesn't get that he has no respect for authority and worse he feels all authority is corrupt. Even the Assistant Manager of Tar.get. And he thinks he is going to change the world by taking a pic of empty shelves at said store and sending them to the local news paper. I don't get it. He was saying when you were young and abused didn't you wish you had stood up for yourself? and I said no it was worse and it didn't help anyway. He said "that's sad". I am just sick of watching him and his mom try to get around the rules every time they don't agree. And I want hubby to realize it's not his place to save the world. We don't have to exact justice because God will. Any way the fight ends with him saying "I don't want to see you for the rest of the day" and slamming the office door. So I cleaned house alone like I always do. And took care of Baby like I always do. Then he comes out and says how sorry he is like he always does. I don't want apology's. I want him to not do the same thing tomorrow. Apology's are always the same thing: I'm sorry but its your fault. And the offending action is repeated regularly. So don't apologise to me, just stop hurting me. Any way we made up and then he says"I am going to be as nice to you today as I possibly can" Ok.....so far that has involved nothing different. I want so little from him. 

1. I want him to love me-check

2. I want him to be nice to me-check

3. I want him to show me he loves me by putting me first and helping me

No check on that one. How hard is it to do some FREAKING dishes? or put your own things away? our house, our nice house is a dump because he not only wont help me keep it clean, he will not even clean up after himself. His towel was on the bed from taking a shower this morning. He didn't change out of his nice clothes for hours after we got home and his excuse is always "I forgot" or "why should I have to do it" Why shouldn't you for that matter Why should I have to do it. I do everything. 

GROW SOME BALLS AND GROW UP BITCH

I feel much better now. Man this stuff has really been bothering me since day one but I could ignore it because he was the only baby I had to take care of but now that Baby is here I cant handle it anymore. And I NEED his help so the poor guy doesn't know what happened to his wife or who this person is. Oh well. I had planned to write a blog about how he isnt that bad because hes really not. He does not abuse me in any way and he does love me and tries to be a better man. I just want him to grow up faster. o well