My sister

Well my sister came and went and despite being gone for 2 weeks now I am still doubting myself as a person and a mom. How does she do that? How does she shake me to the core every time? I am an AWESOME mom. I am a good person. My other sister and I were best friends but now I don't know. She hasn't been very friendly. If I could have it my way I would not see my sister again. I am done. I want nothing more to do with her. Also she talked shit about my marriage. She has been married for barely a year and she thinks she knows about real marriages. Of course she always thought she knew about it before. Every couple we knew who got married she would give them 6 months or 5 years before they broke up. So far I don't know of any of her predictions coming true.

Today I saw my sister on messenger so I said hi. No reply. Why do I give her a chance. It may seem like a tiny little thing but its not. After so many BIG things the little things are just as big. Its just 1 more rejection. 1 more time that she has to prove that she is better than me. The truth is that I don't care who is better. I don't . I just want to be friends. I just want to be sisters. We are twins. But that is all. I am done. My heart can't take any more.

I am so sad today. Her words are ringing in my ears like a broken record. "It's not good for them to see you have a bad day" I think that is the only thing she could say because I am a really good mom. She is like that. One time when she visited me the house was so clean that there was nothing that she could "redo" because I hadn't done it well enough so she washed the couch cushions. That was literally the only thing not perfect. Writing this down has made me feel better because somehow seeing it in writing makes it more reasonable that she is wrong. I think I know why my heart is broken all the time. It's grieving the loss of a best friend and twin sister. I just didn't know it.