I have a question that I need a little help with but I have to give you some backstory first
As you guys know (maybe) I have severe depression and have not been doing well for a long time.
I NEED a break so I can get stuff done and have a few moments to myself
Also I need to work without the goobs being around. Case in point just now carmen came in and it took me 5 minutes and a bunch of red squiggly lines to get that sentence typed
Anyway MIL says I can just ask her for help but when I do she doesn't want to.
I asked her to let me bring the kids to her and let me work in their office for an hour or two uninterrupted so I could get some end of the year stuff done. She got obviously annoyed with me and said "thats why I take one of the kids each week. To give you a whole 24 hour break"
Honestly this really upset me because I am so damned if I do damned if I don't with her.
This is a once a year thing. And I don't want her to help me if she doesn't want to do it.
So anyway after a serious talk last night and many tears Sean and I decided to put the kids in daycare 1 day a week for the sake of my mental health. An added benefit is that we don't need to rely on MIL. But I know that she is going to ask why I don't want her help on thursday and here is where I need help from other people. I don't know how to tell her nicely that we are putting them in daycare and don't want her opinions "input" (ever notice that the people with the most opinions don't usually have much worth considering? I think its because you get so used to hearing things like "did you know that the sky is blue" that you don't even listen anymore) I have to set some boundaries with her.
I do not want to hear again how you have to be real careful because their little self esteem is so easily destroyed. And that they had to learn the hard way. I am doing research on this daycare and if I do not feel comfortable I won't leave them.
I want to tell her its none of her business without say that. She is super sensitive so its going to hurt her feelings no matter what I say but I need to say it anyway as nicely as possible.
If anyone can help me I would be so greatful.
Thanks
Amber
Practice saying something like this: "You do so much for us and we appreciate it. Although we know you would help us if we asked, we decided to put the kids in daycare one day a week so that they have time to play with their friends and work on their socialization and academic readiness skills. It was a hard decision to make, but it was the right decision for us. Rest assured that if we need anything else, we'll ask!" Kids are resilient. If you're confident with your decision, they'll be happy as well.
ReplyDeleteThat is perfect! She called me earlier today and we talked but I know its not over. My mothers name is Rebecca ann :)
ReplyDeleteYou got a much nicer answer from BeckyAnn than I would have given, so go with that one. :)
ReplyDeleteYes but I'd like to hear it anyway because I need all the humor I can get from this. It tames the rageasaurus. And now she decided to take both of my goobs from today til fri. I am greatful and annoyed about it.
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