For the last year or so I have not been regular at my religious services for one reason or another, but mostly depression. Last night I went. It was a big struggle for me. I had an "I can't do this" day where I felt on the verge of a panic attack all day. But my sister was expecting me and I didn't want to let her down. And I knew that after last night it would get easier. So we went. Just me and my sister and our girls. No boys. And it was an adventure. Carmen fell and got embarrassed and could not stop crying and my niece was humiliated that she didn't get to pick her own outfit so she was not in a good mood. She kept taking stuff away from Carmen.
I sat there and felt peace. I felt a calm come over me. And even though the girls were not sitting quietly (they are both 2 its just not going to happen) and Sean wasn't there I felt happy. Its where I am supposed to be.
I don't really want to talk about religion here but I love my god and the peace he brings to my life. I am going to do a better job serving him. Not that I haven't been trying to do my best. I am feeling better now and have more to give in service to him. Thats all.
I am not a religious person. I was raised going to church and I always thought that just sitting in a church was so peaceful.
ReplyDeleteJust to go and sit is nice.
If serving God is what makes you feel whole, that is good. :)
Thank you so much for commenting on my posts! It is good, I\its just hard to remember when depression is literally sucking the life out of you.
ReplyDelete