I hate asking for help. Well who doesn't. But I have always felt pretty self sufficient until last year. And recently when I told my mom and sister I was scared of how I was feeling, it was really hard. But I cannot do it without help. I just feel sad all the time. And so tired. I know what it feels like to not have depression and this is not acceptable.
Today I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
I want to lay in bed and cry. I cried on saturday and sunday this weekend. I was so overwhelmed and exhausted.
Its been about 2 hours since I started this post and I got the kids up and fed and the kitchen almost clean. I am feeling better than I was. I am going to try to stay out of my bed all day. For most people that is a no brainer but its a struggle for me. But I don't think its good for me.
I am hoping my niece can spend the night with us tonight and we are excited!
I have to go get Carmen a shirt. She found her dora pj pants and now she keeps saying "I cold mommy I cold" because she wants me to find the shirt for her
I hate so bad to hear the struggle you are going through Amby. I relate to it and it's as if you are writing out of my diaries many years ago when I was exactly where you are now. Are you taking medication Amby? Are you seeing a therapist and a phychiatrist? Email me again sweetie.
ReplyDeleteI just posted with a very similar subject. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Please know that you are doing the right thing. Getting out of the bed is the best thing for you. The hardest part is knowing how you feel. You may not understand it, you don't have to. But working through it and having good suport really helps me. Grab those loves from the kids and soak them up. Do something that makes you feel good, and make sure you get fresh air. I am thinking about you and I hope you feel good soon!!
ReplyDeleteI feel ya! It's a hard time here too. Sometimes it helps me if I write a list of small successes or things I'm making small amounts of progress on. Or a list of things I'm grateful for. Also, for myself it helps that I have a list of things that I find soothing, like taking a bath or going for a walk, for me to do when I'm feeling so down. Lately I've just been trying to stay in a routine and ignoring my painful feelings altogether. Maybe they'll pass on their own over time, I don't know.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I hope tomorrow is a better day.