Its over

Today my dad goes in for the second surgery. I was hoping it would be easier for me, but its not. I am having a very hard time with this. I just got a text that the surgery is an hour earlier than it was supposed to be and my mother in law is not here yet. 

I want this to be over.

I am giving myself a free pass today. Do not be surprised if I tell you I gained back another 10 lbs. 

I feel mad at my dad for making me go through this. He preaches take care of your health but here we are 10 years after a quadruple bypass.

I was unable to finish this post this morning when I started it and its now almost over. My dad did great. I did okay. I am hoping that the nagging feeling of doom I have been having will go away now. It seems that the second surgery is always better than the first and recovery is too. 

Thank god this day is over

Tomorrow is all about relaxing and recovering for me

My parents are moving to a hotel tomorrow so my dad can rest without temptation.  If I could sleep all day tomorrow I would but alas. Not gonna happen. 

The other day Sean was telling me about some vacation he wanted to go on with his dad and I told him that it is my turn to go on a vacation by myself. He asked me where I wanted to go. At first I was thinking I don't want to go anywhere but then I thought about a scene from the movie The Divine Secret Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood where Ashley Judds character  has a break down and wakes up in a hotel days later. I have always wanted to do that. Just take me time, Not have a break down. So anyway I told Sean I wanted to go to a hotel and sleep for 2 days. I don't care where but I want to sleep and be alone.

I am going to eat some sugar free low carb ice cream and dark chocolate and take a shower and sleep (hopefully)

Good night