2011

The last 2 years almost killed me. Literally. 2011 was much better for me than 2010 but it still sucked. I guess I did pretty good making it my bitch though. I am better mentally and I lost almost 50 lbs. That's pretty awesome. I didn't think about killing my kids once this year.  

But I don't know how I feel about it ending this way. I feel like something is left undone. I can't explain it. I feel like I am waiting for something to happen but I don't know what. 

Oh well

I am going to do even better in 2012. I just know it. I already scheduled our family portraits. I am pretty excited about that. And its not til March so hopefully I will have lost even more weight by then. That would be awesome. I had not scheduled them before because I felt so fat I didn't want documentation of it. And I still feel fat but I feel better. I feel pretty again. 

I am going to keep working on my mental health. I hope one day I will have more good days than bad. I am doing much better than before. But I wish I could do a little better.

I am going to keep working on my physical health. I am so excited about losing weight but the focus is health for me. Exercising for my heart and my kids. Eating right for my heart and kids. I have heart disease on both sides of my family. Its something I will never be able to forget. 

I am going to work on my spiritual health. For the last 7 years I have done the best I could but it was bad. I am reading my bible again. Not every day but that's what I'm shooting for. And being at the meetings. 

Those are going to be the focus of 2012

Beside my family of course