Milisims

So yesterday MIL kept me on the phone for a very long time telling me I needed to take the kids to see a dr because they have runny noses. She told me that FIL had a stinky pussy discharge from his ear for years and did nothing about it and now he is deaf in that ear. And because of that I need to make sure that my kids don't have an infection. And that they needed some kind of written asthma plan. 

I have an asthma action plan. I am quite sure that their asthma is considered controlled and mild. Right now I have allergys so its pretty normal that they do too. 

She also told me that I "don't know everything" That she knows all these things from experience and from other mothers.  She didn't mean it in the way it sounds but it is still annoying and keeps repeating in my head. 

I want to get this out so I can be around her this weekend and not be super annoyed by her because I know that we are going to end up doing something. 

It would be a lot easier if she would not try to give me every piece of advice that she has ever heard. 

Therapy

So yesterday I had a therapy session and the therapist asked me why I can't cry. Because I cry every time I go to her office. I hate it. I told her how private I am. And then I told her how my mom would keep doing what ever it was she was doing until she made you cry and then she was happy. I had several small breakthroughs. I don't like talking about those things because they bring up feelings that I don't need to remember but if it helps me to be happy I am willing to go there. 

I feel so cliche. Everything I say and do in there and how I feel. I bet therapists get so sick of hearing the exact same thing. 

"I dont want you to think bad of my parents/mate"  

All of it. 

Its awkward for me so I am going to call my therapist Nancy from now on. 

Nancy did say she thinks I am "hyper vigilant" with my emotions. I am not sure what that means.

I am excited to be in therapy. I want to get better so much. I am willing to do anything. And the short period of time I was not depressed I had a friend who was basically being my therapist. 

At this moment I wish I were someone else but I am working on that. 

I also understand better why I cannot handle criticism. 

We had to have the house perfectly clean and one time when I cleaned my moms bathroom I missed a leaf from a plant. She said that all the work I did was for nothing because I had miss that one tiny thing. So when someone says you did great except for this one thing I hear so your work means nothing. 

I knew that was how I felt but now I understand it better.

I know this post is crazy but you should be in here with me.   

Labor day weekend

This weekend was eventful and productive, and also a little stressful.

At 3 in the morning on Saturday I got up to put my son back in his own bed and stepped in 2 inches of water. It flooded every room in the house except for some unknown reason the kids room. At 3:30 Sean went and got a shop vac so we could suck up all the water. When we did as much as we could we called Sean's parents and asked if we could take the kids over there. We left our house about 6. AM.  When we got home we cleaned out our room and started going through everything. The new water heater got put in and we had to go get Sean's parents gift. It was their anniversary and we got them a new set of pots. They were super nice. Sunday I could not get myself up until after 9:30. I was SOOOO tired. Sean and I came back to our house in the after noon and started cleaning everything and putting stuff away. We got the house sooooo clean. It feels brand new. And we managed to get it all done without 1 fight or even snapping at each other. It was good for our marriage and we spent the whole time together being productive. It was almost,  as everyone has told me a blessing in disguise. Dare I say I even enjoyed it. The worst thing that happened was I fried a roku when I put every thing back together. But it looks like that one is going to be replaced for free. So it wasnt so bad. And all things considered it was great. I didn't freak out or break down. 

It will probably take a while to catch up on sleep and all but I am not unhappy with it all.

But the kids are sick AGAIN. And this is a special week. Looks like I will be phoning in all week. I may have to take L to the Dr. I hate doing it because they can't really do anything. But he is wheezing a little bit. 

I am going to make mac and cheese for dinner tonight so I better go. 

I hope everyone had a good weekend.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Low Carb Sugar Free

Chocolate Chip Cookies

2 Tbls Butter (or coconut oil)

1/4 cup sugar free syrup

1 cup splenda

3/4 cup fat free greek yogurt

2 eggs

3/4 tsp salt

1.5 tsp baking soda

1/2 cup coconut flour

1/2 cup garbanzo bean flour

3/4 cup oatmeal

1 cup chocolate chips

Cream first 4 ingredients together then add eggs. Then add next 5 ingredients. After well mixed add chocolate chips. If too wet add more oatmeal. If too dry add more greek yogurt. 

Bake at 375 for 15 mins

Shepherds Pie

Shepherds Pie

(sorry no pic)

I had been craving shepherds pie so I googled some recipes and then used what I had

So here it goes

1 lb bag frozen cauliflower

1 lb ground meat (I used half but wont next time)

1 small onion chopped

1 bag frozen green beans

1 fresh zucchini chopped

4 large cloves garlic

1 can tomato paste

2 tbls Worcestershire sauce 

paprika

1/2 cup broth

S&P

1 cup cheese

Cook cauliflower till soft then puree (Dress them like mashed potatoes)

Saute onion and other veggies with 1/2 of the garlic and 1/2 of the Worcestershire sauce

when soft set aside and cook ground meat with the rest of the garlic and worcestershire sauce and paprika. when no longer pink add broth and tomato paste and veggies back in pan. simmer for 15 or 20 minutes. 

Then pour into casserole dish, top with cauliflower and cheese on the top. Bake until hot all the way through and cheese on top is melted at 350. 

If you make it and it looks awesome can you send me a pic? Please

Best Beans You've Ever Had

(Hey look a picture

Believe it or not these really are

The Best Beans You've Ever Had

1 Lb pinto beans

1 onion chopped

1/2 cup tomato chopped

1 jalapeno pepper (whole or chopped)

S&P

2 tbls chili powder

1 tbls cumin

3 large cloves garlic minced
6 cups water

Rinse beans well and dump into crock pot with all ingredients. Cook on high 8 hours (overnight). 

Note: Use what you have. Sometimes I leave ingredients out because I don't have them. But I do not recommend using canned anything. I have used this recipe with black beans and black eyed peas. 

Family Pics

So for our anniversary we had our pics taken. 

It took a long time to get the pics in but

OMG IT WAS SO WORTH IT

I thought the session went really bad. In fact I think I was crying because I had such high hopes

So last night when I finally looked at them I cried again

Because they were awesome!

With no further ado (hope you don't mind the overload)

Our family 2012

It was so hard not to post every pic but I cut it down from 72