I feel better today. I think its because I slept til 8:30 today.
It could also be because Sean has a 3 day weekend. I am so excited to spend time with him and not do anything this weekend. I am hoping that I will be able to sleep in 1 morning. He gets to sleep in tomorrow morning.
Carmen and Louie and I have the squirts today. I am not sure whats causing it but poo is just attracted to me. It follows me everywhere. I heard that gurgley fart coming from Louie and I knew I had to change that diaper quick. So I picked him up and ran to the diapers. I was too late. I got poo everywhere. He was so upset. And so was I. But its ok it got me cleaning.
My parents are going to stay with us monday and tuesday nights. I always feel so bad because my mom is a clean freak. Everything has to be "just so". She is very kind to me when she comes but I feel like I am letting her down. Its really not that dirty right now so I know I can do this. Maybe this time it will be good enough.
I am going to start cleaning right now
This past year I started to shrug off other people's expectations... to not accept "guilt" that people try to put onto me for not meeting their expectations. It's tough, but I actually physically shrug my shoulders and visualize things rolling off my back, and somehow it seems to help.
ReplyDeleteYou work hard... you have two small children and that's a job in itself. You're working at losing weight, and that is a huge job too. (And I'm so proud of how well you've done!)
Your home is yours, and should be as clean as YOU want it... the only one you really need to worry about letting down is yourself. You expect so much of yourself, so I hope you can find a little bit of the freedom that this attitude can bring.
Happy New Year!
Thank you so much for your comment. It is so thoughtful. I know I did my best last year. I am not ruled by guilt or duty but my Mom and Dad have done a lot for us and I feel like having the house clean for her is a way to show her I appreciate it. She was very happy this time. But also for me and the kids I want the house to be clean. I don't like haveing gritty floors or piles of crap everywhere. I do have a hoarding problem I have to work on every day. But thank you so much. Your comment means a lot to me.
ReplyDeleteAlso I have been wondering how you are.
I'm doing really well. I just haven't felt like writing on my blog lately, so I haven't. Just another way of doing what is right for me, I guess! But so much of what runs through my mind is too personal to post, or one particular person might be irritated by things I want to say... so it just seems best to deal with things privately.
ReplyDeleteAs for your house... as long as you are doing it for YOU, then by all means, work on it. My point was that you don't do things to make someone else happy... you do things that make you happy. That isn't a selfish attitude... it is simply taking care of yourself, and you can't really take care of anyone else if you aren't taking care of yourself first. :)
I know that every time I get another room organized in my house, it makes me feel happy. I had my boys carry boxes to the basement so I could organize my living room and my game room, and now I just love to go into them, sit, look at the things I hung on the wall, and relax. I still have a huge mess in the basement to sort through and organize yet, but making progress in one room helps give me incentive to keep working on the next room. :)