I saw my counselor today. He is so kind. It was nice because I was able to tell him I am feeling better. I have been doing better since I started going to office but I hadn't really started feeling better. He always tells me how nice it is that I am doing better. I am really trying to get better but I think most people don't put the effort in. Not that most people don't want to, they are not at the point that they can. I also told him that I had to put myself in time out the other day. And he said it was a really cool concept that I am teaching my kids. I made a glitter/calm down jar. I made it so that when the kids (or I) get upset or overwhelmed we can shake the jar and watch the glitter settle. I haven't used it yet because I just made it so I don't know if it works or not. I hope it works.
I think that Bea is mad at me and I feel sick about it. Sick at my stomach and heart broken. I have a problem with recriminations. I still think about things I did or said as a child and feel sick about them.
If you feel Bea is mad at you why don't you address these issues with her? You can do this. xx
ReplyDeleteIf she were really upset with me she would talk to me about it. We are really close so we can tell eachother anything. It was more my crazyness than anything Bea said.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean your crazyness?
ReplyDeleteSounds like you might be having a hard time. Sorry to hear this.
HOpefully things will look up soon.
I think it was more in my head than reality. Bea is not a petty person and she does not get angry over little things. She does not hold grudges.
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